A Real Man Suffers in Silence—Reasons Why Some Men Won’t Get a Massage

massage

May 15

I live in a rural farming community which gives me a unique experience on the type of client that receives a massage in this quiet location. Only ten percent of my clients identify as male. The majority of my business relies heavily upon marketing toward women and establishing return customers. Word of mouth references to family, friends and health care providers is another way I’ve maintained in business. Self-promotion, advertising in the newspaper, online, working at events have not been as helpful as just being a part of the community with my family. As I approach my fifth year being a licensed massage therapist I’ve come to reflect upon my time and figure out why I have such a difficult time getting male clients.

I felt like digging into the small-town male psyche and getting to the heart of why the majority don’t schedule themselves a massage. To begin with, I think a lot of country folks’ first impressions and exposure to “massage” as an industry, in general, has been portrayed in a joking or condescending manner. T.V., movies, music, military veterans, news outlets, and the pornography industry have all contributed to forming stereotypes (mostly inaccurate) of massage therapists. In America, terms like “masseuse,” “parlour,” and flashing neon signs indicate illicit brothels.

Portrayals of massage treatments in dramas and comedies alike have a disturbing amount of wiggle room for showing consent. Non-consensual touch between therapist and client is normalized. Children are sponges for information and they are collecting all these images and misrepresentations of massage and subconsciously setting up a mental barrier for getting a massage in the first place!

Boys have been taught that if they get hurt they need to just suck it up buttercup and move on. Suppressing those healthy emotions leads to hiding behind a tough guy façade. A life where you only go to the doctor if you’re on death’s door and being nurtured becomes a humiliating weakness. When you can’t manage your feelings in a healthy way, your brain and body perceive pain more intensely. It turns into a horrible cycle of having pain and being too ashamed or proud to ask for alternative treatments like massage therapy.

Reasons Men Have For Not Getting a Massage

1. It’s a waste of my money/time
Why spend money on a massage when you could use that for groceries, hobbies, utilities, alcohol, etc.? You genuinely believe massage isn’t going to help you and it would be a waste of everyone’s time when you prove whomever pushed it on you that you were right.

2. Guilt

Not necessarily a gender-specific problem but guilt for taking time to spend money on yourself. Your health needs are on a list of priorities and they’re located on the very bottom.

3. I put my armor on—show you how strong I am

The idea of someone digging into knots and working on muscles that are tensed up ALL the time can make you nervous. If the therapist has removed your physical armor you may find it unleashes some emotions you’re unfamiliar with or rather not deal with entirely.

4. Body image

Massage therapists work with all sorts of body types and sizes and we aren’t judging you but maybe your self-image is preventing you from getting a massage.

5. Misconceptions

Stereotypes of incense burning, smudge sticking, crystal waving hippies with the massage pressure of a tickle. Or worse a strongman/strongwoman who will use her fists and elbows like meat tenderizers!